Cakewalking The Plank

It's well past the point with MasterChef where I should get annoyed that the production is saving its pets at the cost of its own credibility. I realize this. But Shelly's continued presence is horseshit. She's got style; she seems fun; she has flailed from the jump, and while the Dreaded Pressure Test is a self-contained challenge that doesn't (I assume) permit the judges to count past performance as a criterion for deciding who goes home, Shelly sucked in the team challenge, behaved rather gracelessly in the discussion amongst the Blue team about who wouldn't have to face the DPT, and made a crappy cake. But it's not as lumpen as Charlie's and it's not as soggy as Amanda's, so she gets to stay.

The show celebrated its 100th episode with an outdoor luncheon (which evidently lasted 'til nearly nightfall) that pitted Blue and Red against each other; oysters; and duck breast -- and with sadly typical ginned-up comebacks and sob-story favoritism. Whose candles burned bright and whose got blown out? To the list!

Tommy's fashion
Noooooo, YOUR necklace is the boss.
Everyone else's fashion
Dressed out for the "birthday event," everyone looks gorge.
Highest hat tips to Hetal's yoked maxi; Stephen using his goggle strap for shades; Tommy's lamé jacket with rufflicious shirt front; Shelly's lemony body-con number; and the glittery number Amanda's wearing, which you can't really see here. Love Tosi's braid story as well.
Gordon brings the encouragement
The kinder, gentler Gordon of MCJr. has evidently traveled over to the original show, and I like it. He still gets some shite lines -- "it's a celebration, not a cremation!" doesn't get off the launchpad -- but he knows just how to speak to Olivia to get her focused, gentle but firm. And even though Amanda's cake-tastrophe is pretty clearly irretrievable, he gets right in there and jokes with her, urging her to patch it up with frosting.
Stephen
When Blue has to choose amongst themselves the lone exemptee from the DPT, it's Stephen.
THIS guy
The hair is not my favorite, but it's surprisingly nice to see Leslie again. I miss him, kind of.
Gordis Ramsley VI: Shell To Pay
Other people
"I guess we'll get to know Sara next week...when she'll go home at the end." - me, last week.
Well, she didn't, but she didn't exactly light up the world with her sponge (...hee! ew, sorry) either. It's more like she didn't egregiously suck. Also, a Kerry exists.
Olivia
Almost has a meltdown when smoking (read: "ruining") a pan of oysters knocks out a third of their supply, and has a hard time managing Derrick until Gordon takes her aside, but she does pull it together.
Claudia
"I can-NOT face ANOTHER Pressure Test!" It's the seventh episode, Claudia. Look into some breathing exercises. Also, you not only faced but won this one -- although you didn't have a ton of competition.
Charlie
Well:
Screens: FOX

It looks like it got drop-kicked through a snowstorm. The competition is about finding a restaurant chef, with all that that entails; I understand that. But the judges raved about the taste, and Charlie did a great job staying positive and upselling the experience of the misshapen blob he put on the plate. He wouldn't have made the final, but I adore confetti cake and I would have kept him.
Amanda
Poor kid. She's so upset in her talking-heads afterwards, and I can't argue that she should have stayed; the center looked like pudding even after she tried to cut around the raw parts. I really liked her, though.
Tosi
Much improved -- no manguage-langling, and switched from "de-LISH-ious" to "BEAU-tiful," which if not an upgrade exactly is at least a change of pace. But is anyone else confused as to what makes the luncheon cake so awesome?
I can't speak to the taste, or how long it sat out before the big fanfare, but it doesn't look that pro to me. Backing way off the lavish complimenting of her expertise and status is the play here, because it's starting to seem like the empress has no cheesecloth.
Derrick
He's happy to bag on the actual captain's plans for the dishes, and while Olivia's menu does sound too complex, it tends to become self-fulfilling prophecy when the soldiers start eye-rolling the general -- and then he gets to feel all smug about helping to expedite.
Shelly
See my intro. I don't have anything against her, but everyone else has got equally valid reasons to be there and to need the win -- and everyone else didn't screw the rice into a cocked hat. Of course it's a great story if she wins, sets her family up for life (...ish, whatever), models that success for her child, but maybe let her earn it so it's not hollow for the viewers, and we don't stop watching, and the show isn't canceled, and future motivated single parents can't chase their dreams on it? To Shelly's credit, I think she knows what's up. Her sobbing as she heads for the balcony is legit. But it's hard to like anything that comes out of that now.